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Updated: Jun 19, 2020

How many of you are either tired of being in quarantine, ready to break out now that your kids have finished "homeschooling", and summer is in a few days, or are just living each day wandering and ruminating in uncertainty?

Here are my thoughts on uncertainty and living in uncertain times. Some of you may relate. Some of you may say, what the F**! This is to be expected. I've long given up on my friend Penny the "People Pleaser", the part of me that wants to be politically correct and not make anyone upset. So here goes!

Uncertainty- It's here and not going anywhere.

We have the power to choose our thoughts, right or wrong, political, religion, etc...

We have ultimate dominion over our attitude, whether optimistic or just plain "the sky is falling mentality".

Love is not blind, we all see what we want to see. (unless you're physically blind, then you've probably developed a super "sh*t detector of who's who!")

One person's garbage is another ones treasure, even recyclables.

Depression is also known as "love sickness".

Is not your foe, it's your friend.

Growth and Change are part of living in the present.

My biggest complaint that I hear, is either "I can't change or He/She can't change". And I'd agree with them that they're right in their belief. They can only do what they think, feel, or believe about themselves to the fullest extent. The power of the placebo has been proven over and over in numerous documents and clinical trials. But the truth goes much deeper, you might say below the surface, right to your brain. Actually, your brain has the capacity for change neurologically at any point in life. If you'd like to know how to change your brain, and make your thoughts and actions move in a more positive direction, then make the call. Some people wait and wait till the right time appears. Some people start dialing before finishing the article. I'm here whenever you decide to stop letting your thoughts and feelings hold you captive. Whether it's counseling through Telehealth or therapy for couples by- all work done for yourself and for your relationships, counts. Remember you're not alone.

Here's to remembering how others overcame their thoughts and fears to serve our country and stand for justice, despite the fear of uncertainty. We love and honor you this Memorial Day.

With Grit, Grace, and Gratitude!

Shauna Sottery, LMFT, CCAATP

Marriage Basics and Beyond LLC

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Updated: Jun 19, 2020

"The thief's purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life." (John 10:10)

Hindsight is 20/20. If we only knew then what we know now. I am truly amazed at the amount of wisdom that seeps from the Bible. First of all, let me confess. I just recently started reading this Book of Knowledge basically a manual of how to do life, over the past 3 years. You see I worked in a society for 17 plus years that reinforced the nagging fear that I was not worthy enough to succeed in business, in life, unless I succumbed to the mantra of personal development. So thousands of dollars later after reading every new book on personal development I could find at Barnes and Noble, I was bewildered why my new found method of the day didn't leave me with a more "long-lasting" dose of self confidence, let alone self esteem. Have you ever felt this? Excited and Enthusiastic one minute, then lost, deflated, and flat the next?

Let me preface, I'm eternally grateful for having experienced the sheer awesomeness of some of the worlds greatest speakers and teachers in my life, past and present included. The best source of Wisdom is unquestionably, your Bible. In addition, these are "The 4 key codes" of what has remained with me throughout the years, that coincidentally are all written in Scripture just said differently:

  • "CANI" - Constant And Never-ending Improvement in all areas of life (Tony Robbins)

  • "What other people think of me is none of my business" principle (Wayne Dyer)

  • The Power of Now: Being Fully in the Moment mindset for dealing with chaos (Eckhart Tolle)

  • Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.(Albert Einstein)

So Jesus came to give us an abundant and satisfying life. Yet most of America is living in a state of sleep deprivation, addictions ( beyond drugs, alcohol, and gambling- I'm talking about the elephant in the room like social media, pornography, and technology to name a few), chronic health, busyness and a myriad of distractions. Our divorce rate has now officially gone beyond 51% for first time marriages, 68% for second marriages, and so on. Kids are experiencing record highs of depression, loneliness, and sadness despite "being connected". Why? Glad you asked. It's because each one of these symptoms and "addictions" have become a way of life for many. They are the enemy's tools that he uses daily to steal our Joy, Health, Vitality, Relationships, Peace, and ultimately Love. We all know, something practiced consistently for 21-24 days, becomes habit, good or not so good.

In a world of growing technology, the freedom to rant and rave in real time, and the ease of surfing and navigating the wonderful wide world of Google, YouTube, Social Media like Facebook, Instagram, Snap Chat, Twitter, can literally lose hours of time "staying connected" and up-to-date on what friends and family are doing minutes or miles away. We've literally taken our "habit" to a whole new level and put it in a box that we can carry with us 24/7. We have become enslaved to our devices, some more aware than others of this black hole phenomena, and have even been cited touching devices an estimated 5,400 times per day! (CPA clinical study 2019)

For those that of us that believe that we are fairly new inhabitants created by a loving God to have authority and dominion over God's creatures on earth, the enemy (aka the devil) has been around a lot longer than us and has been studying us keenly, learning how humans make their decisions, feed their fears and insecurities, and modifying his strategies to fulfill his purpose: to steal (Time and Joy), to kill (Love and Compassion), and destroy (Unity and Relationships) with ourselves, with one another, and within a nation of people.

If we are only given one life to live and a limited amount of time, the question now becomes not about quantity, but about quality. Simply stated, "We are all given the same amount of time in a given day, but what we choose to do with the time we are given that's what matters most." Gandalph the Wise (Lord of the Rings by JR Tolkien)

There's obviously a reason you chose to read this completely. Now choose to start living life more fully: with purpose, intention, love and respect. It's about investing in You. I'm here to help you get started! Counseling for yourself or for relationships is now available through Telehealth from the convenience of your home or office.

Your Relationship Specialist,

Shauna Sottery


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